you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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