I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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