Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
