So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
