When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
