are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
