Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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