I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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