Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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