How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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