I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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