I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
