you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My vagina just recognized that song.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
