i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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