Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
