i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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