so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
