who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
