Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Congratulations! We have a period
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
