Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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