Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
