haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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