so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize