at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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