Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
