I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
