Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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