i permit you to call me
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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