Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
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Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
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It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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