i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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