on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize