real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize