just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Small penises have feelings too.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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