Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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