Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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