It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
