Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
