Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
