if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
