Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize