I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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