Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize