he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
