Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
