that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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