How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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