We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just gift wrapped bread.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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