Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
