If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
