Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
