Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
