This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I understand Curling. That high.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
