Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
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it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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