I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
