Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I understand Curling. That high.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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