12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Two words: blizzard sex
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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