was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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