You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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