Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm sobbing to NWA
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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