Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize