You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
