my vag is so smooth its legendary
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
