I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
We're like a lot better than the average bears
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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