He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
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Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
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His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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